I love this so much. A woman's (and a man's) place is where they choose to be, and sometimes in teamwork where we need to be. I was a homeschool mom for a long time. But I've also supported us while my husband was in school... And now I work at my own business that I enjoy every day. We worked hard to balance our expenses so my husband can do work he enjoys. This is life and I hope we've taught our children to work together for their goals as well.
Thank you for that, Deleyna. Appreciate your view on this -- and I completely agree.
It's the experience my wife and I have had in life. Shame that we've been hounded by some who feel their way is the only way, which isn't a thing.
I truly want people to come away from this article feeling they have more options and control over their own life. To stop listening to what social "norms" say you should be doing, and do your own things -- whatever fits bets for your own goals, dreams, and circumstances.
We are still a homeschool family, and I've had the blessing as an artist, to work from home nearly my whole adult life. That means we have had both mom and dad in the home, at the same time, nearly all the time. This provides many advantages and many, MANY freedoms.
My wife is able to go and do things with friends on a regular basis, and it's easy for me to be here for the children. We also find it enjoyable to do the shopping together and running errands together, because we spend alone time together. We garden together, and yesterday we worked together in a food booth for our community and cooked for nearly 400 people.
You can't do this well without teamwork -- and that's what I believe a marriage should be: Teamwork.
When I was a young woman, I thought that being able to choose my path in life was the definition of feminism. I understand that this is not the current definition... but I've enjoyed being able to be who I am and do what I love. I can't imagine anything better for any human being. With my own kids and my many extras, I've watched them choose kids/no kids, work/home, careers based on need/careers based on passion. And I've supported the decisions each of them has made. Did everything always work out well? No. But I can't imagine anything worse than having something work out badly after it was forced upon you.
"I can't imagine anything worse than having something work out badly after it was forced upon you."
Ohhhhhhhh, that is SO true.
One thing I left out of the story I told, was that I asked my wife what she wanted to do. Go to school? Work? What was the most important things to her, so they could be taken into each decision we made together.
Why? Because I said I never wanted to hear, "I wish we could have," or "but we never," or "If only we had..."
No, no, no. no. There are reasons people are so unsatisfied with marriage, and I wonder if one of the main issues is communication between spouses. We don't listen. We don't talk. We don't use the same words, or definitions. Instead we harbor feelings and don't work them out. We assume and not discuss what matters.
We make plans without coordinating with the #1 person we should be enlisting for help AND helping ourselves.
You're right, Deleyna, things don't always work out well, but when we listen -- and truly love each other -- I believe anything and EVERYTHING can be conquered together. For us, it's worked so far.
One young man I know refused to propose to his lady until he had life "figured out." They got married and of course plans collapsed. His first instinct was to send her somewhere safe until he got life figured out again. I explained that wasn't how life worked. But I think it was his wife who fully explained it. A metaphorical frying pan may have been involved...
I'd love to get the feedback from a woman's side of this topic.
• How you feel about such a statement?
• Do you agree in any way?
• Do you feel this article did your position any justice?
Looking for clarity over agreement =)
I love this so much. A woman's (and a man's) place is where they choose to be, and sometimes in teamwork where we need to be. I was a homeschool mom for a long time. But I've also supported us while my husband was in school... And now I work at my own business that I enjoy every day. We worked hard to balance our expenses so my husband can do work he enjoys. This is life and I hope we've taught our children to work together for their goals as well.
Thank you for that, Deleyna. Appreciate your view on this -- and I completely agree.
It's the experience my wife and I have had in life. Shame that we've been hounded by some who feel their way is the only way, which isn't a thing.
I truly want people to come away from this article feeling they have more options and control over their own life. To stop listening to what social "norms" say you should be doing, and do your own things -- whatever fits bets for your own goals, dreams, and circumstances.
We are still a homeschool family, and I've had the blessing as an artist, to work from home nearly my whole adult life. That means we have had both mom and dad in the home, at the same time, nearly all the time. This provides many advantages and many, MANY freedoms.
My wife is able to go and do things with friends on a regular basis, and it's easy for me to be here for the children. We also find it enjoyable to do the shopping together and running errands together, because we spend alone time together. We garden together, and yesterday we worked together in a food booth for our community and cooked for nearly 400 people.
You can't do this well without teamwork -- and that's what I believe a marriage should be: Teamwork.
When I was a young woman, I thought that being able to choose my path in life was the definition of feminism. I understand that this is not the current definition... but I've enjoyed being able to be who I am and do what I love. I can't imagine anything better for any human being. With my own kids and my many extras, I've watched them choose kids/no kids, work/home, careers based on need/careers based on passion. And I've supported the decisions each of them has made. Did everything always work out well? No. But I can't imagine anything worse than having something work out badly after it was forced upon you.
"I can't imagine anything worse than having something work out badly after it was forced upon you."
Ohhhhhhhh, that is SO true.
One thing I left out of the story I told, was that I asked my wife what she wanted to do. Go to school? Work? What was the most important things to her, so they could be taken into each decision we made together.
Why? Because I said I never wanted to hear, "I wish we could have," or "but we never," or "If only we had..."
No, no, no. no. There are reasons people are so unsatisfied with marriage, and I wonder if one of the main issues is communication between spouses. We don't listen. We don't talk. We don't use the same words, or definitions. Instead we harbor feelings and don't work them out. We assume and not discuss what matters.
We make plans without coordinating with the #1 person we should be enlisting for help AND helping ourselves.
You're right, Deleyna, things don't always work out well, but when we listen -- and truly love each other -- I believe anything and EVERYTHING can be conquered together. For us, it's worked so far.
No reason to stop now.
There was a song... I think it came out during the pandemic.
https://open.spotify.com/track/2tw1U7sV7kvAeAGLU6pFkt?si=90d93db733e6402e
Together... I've watched both of my sons discover the power of teamwork with their partners. Can't have better than that when things get dark.
wow. Thanks for that song.
Love it. Fits our conversation perfectly =)
Sending it to all my kids.
One young man I know refused to propose to his lady until he had life "figured out." They got married and of course plans collapsed. His first instinct was to send her somewhere safe until he got life figured out again. I explained that wasn't how life worked. But I think it was his wife who fully explained it. A metaphorical frying pan may have been involved...