Don't Squirt Your Local Police
Don't Squirt Your Local Police
If your children ever do some of the things I did as a child, they should be spanked.
Don’t Do This.
From time to time, I feel it’s important to share a story of how I got to this point in my life. To show you that no matter what you’ve done wrong in life, there is a path back to the light. That if you so choose, you can, regardless of what others may tell you, become someone other than a jerk.
Eventually.
I made sure mom and dad would never notice what I took from the garage. After all, it would take all the fun out of your success in deploying your diabolical plan, only to come home to a belt strap on your butt, right?
I took a little gasoline from the lawnmower, some paint thinner, an egg I had been baking in the ground out back for a month or so and some of moms wood stain. Mixed it up in a soup can. I told Bob what I planned to do with my 'melt-in-a-bottle' creation and being the sweet little demon he was, he eagerly joined right in.
Placing the finished concoction into the water bottle of my cool, plastic covered motorcycle bike, we road away to see if cop cars were indeed invulnerable to creative nine year olds.
We found a good corner in our neighborhood, but far enough away so mom and dad wouldn't stumble upon us if they drove their regular route. The location had enough trees and bushed for me to hide behind and move about without being easily detected. I stashed my bike around the corner within the trees and made sure it was completely invisible. I planted the demon I called my brother on his skateboard just to the right of the corner street sign, which forced any passerby to pull over against the bushes, where I would be hiding. If it went as planned, I could cover the side of a car and get away without notice.
We were in place, armed, and ready for action.
It was a little wait, but as soon as we saw a patrolman, my little brother — who we will call "Bob" today, cause I don’t want to get a phone call after this article — did his thing. What a master of BS emotions he was, tears flowed like rivers down the small cheeks that looked so sweet you got cavities just looking at the little crapper. The cop noticed him as he sank his face into his hands and sobbed, his little frame delicately centered on his massive skateboard, shuddering in despair.
The cop pulled into place, perfectly in front of the bushes where I was hiding and rolled down his window.
“What's the matter fella?” the cop said.
“I just moved here and I'm lost,” cried Bob, fussing loudly. “Do you know where I live?”
Before the cop responded I went to work, uncapping my water bottle and squirting my eye watering liquid/gel all along the side of his car, completely covering the police insignia's.
The two talked for a couple minutes, Bob staying on his board, darting an occasional glance my way from time to time. I emptied the full contents of my bottle and watched the paint melt down the side of the vehicle before my actions were even complete. Once done, I quickly gave a thumbs up and backed into the bushes. Bob instantly perked up with a smile:
“Oh! I remember where I live! Thank you so much for the help!!” and he dashed off in the opposite direction from where we lived.
We never got caught, but we should face been. It was wrong to take advantage of someone, especially unaware. What was worse, was taking advantage of someone who was serving us in the community. It was back handed, sneaky, destructive, irresponsible and not very nice.
I did, however, feel I had a great future in chemistry.
...or politics.
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BONUS: 25 cultural exploration activity ideas for families!
We are coming close to the end of summer! Here’s some of my favorite ideas for your summer enjoyment (yup, you still get 25). If you’d like the full list — including both low to no cost options and variations for special needs children, consider supporting kidCLANS by purchasing “Summer Survival Guide: 975 Ways to Keep the Kids Busy.” It’s only $5…and you’ll save 50 times that using our ideas over the summer =)
Museum Visits: Visit local museums to explore art, history, science, or cultural exhibits. Learn about different civilizations, traditions, and historical events.
Ethnic Food Night: Choose a different cuisine each week and prepare a meal together using traditional recipes and ingredients. Discuss the cultural significance of the dishes.
Language Exchange: Learn basic phrases in a foreign language and practice conversational skills with native speakers through language exchange programs or online platforms.
Traditional Dance Classes: Take dance classes to learn traditional dances from different cultures, such as salsa, tango, or Bollywood. Enjoy the rhythmic movements and vibrant music.
Global Movie Night: Watch movies from various countries, offering a glimpse into different cultures, traditions, and storytelling styles. Discuss the themes and cultural references afterward.
Cultural Festivals: Attend cultural festivals in your community or neighboring areas. Experience live performances, traditional music, dances, crafts, and authentic cuisine.
Pen Pal Program: Participate in a pen pal program that connects families with individuals from different countries. Exchange letters, artwork, and cultural insights with your pen pals.
Virtual Tours: Explore famous landmarks and cultural sites around the world through virtual tours available online. Learn about their history, architecture, and significance.
Traditional Craft Workshops: Attend workshops or try DIY crafts from different cultures. Learn techniques like origami, pottery, beadwork, or fabric dyeing.
Storytelling Sessions: Read traditional folktales and myths from different cultures. Discuss the values, beliefs, and lessons reflected in the stories.
Cultural Dress-Up: Dress up in traditional attire from different cultures. Learn about the significance of clothing and accessories and how they reflect cultural identity.
Music Appreciation: Listen to music from various cultures, including traditional folk music, classical compositions, or contemporary genres. Discuss the instruments, rhythms, and melodies.
Visit Ethnic Neighborhoods: Explore ethnic neighborhoods in your city or nearby towns. Visit shops, restaurants, and markets to experience the culture, language, and cuisine.
Cultural Games: Learn and play traditional games from different cultures, such as mahjong, chess, or mancala. Discover the history and rules of these games.
Cultural Workouts: Try cultural workouts like African dance, martial arts, or yoga. Learn about the cultural and historical significance of these movement practices.
Heritage Research: Research and trace your family's heritage and share stories, customs, and traditions from your own cultural background.
Cookbook Compilation: Collect traditional recipes from friends, family, or online sources. Compile them into a family cookbook featuring dishes from different cultures.
Cultural Field Trips: Organize field trips to cultural centers, ethnic markets, places of worship, or historical sites representing diverse cultures.
Cultural Trivia Nights: Have family trivia nights focused on cultural facts, traditions, and history from around the world. Test your knowledge and learn together.
Cultural Art Projects: Create art inspired by different cultures. Explore techniques like calligraphy, painting, or textile design, incorporating cultural symbols and motifs.
Cultural Books Club: Read books written by authors from diverse backgrounds, exploring different perspectives and cultural experiences. Discuss the themes and characters as a family.
Volunteer for Cultural Events: Offer your time and assistance at cultural events or festivals to learn firsthand about traditions, customs, and community celebrations.
Cultural Instrument Exploration: Try playing traditional musical instruments from different cultures, such as the ukulele, djembe, or sitar. Experiment with the sounds and rhythms.
Cultural Documentaries: Watch documentaries that explore different cultures, histories, or social issues. Discuss the insights gained and encourage critical thinking.
Intercultural Potluck Dinners: Organize potluck dinners where each family brings a dish representing their cultural heritage. Share stories, recipes, and traditions while enjoying a diverse feast.
Ah the mischief! A friend early on warned me to make sure my boys had lots to study and engage their minds because a bored smart kid is a dangerous thing!