Wouldn’t it be nice if we could go back in time and fix all the stupid (or at least questionable) things we’ve done as parents? Or maybe we should have made a different choice, so that the outcome was better in some area of our lives?
So think about this and ask yourself:
What parenting advice would you give to your younger self?
This could become a huge post collection of things for all of us to avoid…or to focus on.
There are MANY things I would say to my younger self...but I think the biggest one would be:
Love them. Truly love them. That doesn't mean giving them whatever they want, or caving in to please them. Loving them is doing the right thing for the right reasons, for their overall good.
Sometimes that's making hard choices. Sometimes that means holding them accountable for their word, or for the things they do wrong, regardless of the consequences, because those ARE consequences for choices made.
Loving your children means never, ever...EVER attaching the impression that their behavior/performance is connected to your love for them.
You will break their heart...and lose them.
I say that, younger self, because it is going to take you almost TWENTY YEARS to mend that fence with one of your kids...BUT YOU DO IT, DAMMIT -- BECAUSE IT'S YOUR FAULT.
Most things are not as important as you think. Those grades? No one cares in a few years. But cuddles? Love? Support? Letting them know you'll always support them and love them even when things go wrong? So much more important.
I wish I'd realized that the stain on the carpet would be a funny story... And that the carpet doesn't matter.
I was so worried about so many things. I cried and stressed and overspent. Anything for those babies! When what they most wanted was cuddles, love, and acceptance. Thankfully they're all very forgiving adults!
I think nature created a 'cheat'...in that those babies are SO adorable, it helps them stay alive at least until teenage years. I remember when I found my oldest son, 5 years old at the time, using the toilet to wash my $500 suit.
There are MANY things I would say to my younger self...but I think the biggest one would be:
Love them. Truly love them. That doesn't mean giving them whatever they want, or caving in to please them. Loving them is doing the right thing for the right reasons, for their overall good.
Sometimes that's making hard choices. Sometimes that means holding them accountable for their word, or for the things they do wrong, regardless of the consequences, because those ARE consequences for choices made.
Loving your children means never, ever...EVER attaching the impression that their behavior/performance is connected to your love for them.
You will break their heart...and lose them.
I say that, younger self, because it is going to take you almost TWENTY YEARS to mend that fence with one of your kids...BUT YOU DO IT, DAMMIT -- BECAUSE IT'S YOUR FAULT.
He will forgive you.
...eventually.
Most things are not as important as you think. Those grades? No one cares in a few years. But cuddles? Love? Support? Letting them know you'll always support them and love them even when things go wrong? So much more important.
I wish I'd realized that the stain on the carpet would be a funny story... And that the carpet doesn't matter.
Love every minute.
Best answer ever.
Hmmm....
I think YOU should have talked to my younger self 🙄
I was so worried about so many things. I cried and stressed and overspent. Anything for those babies! When what they most wanted was cuddles, love, and acceptance. Thankfully they're all very forgiving adults!
Everything seems smaller in the rear view mirror.
I think nature created a 'cheat'...in that those babies are SO adorable, it helps them stay alive at least until teenage years. I remember when I found my oldest son, 5 years old at the time, using the toilet to wash my $500 suit.
Yeah, I'll make a post about that story.
Oh the things they think of. They're so creative and clever!
Exactly.